Being Screwed By A Lawyer!

The madam opened the brothel door in Winnipeg and saw a rather dignified,
well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties.


'May I help you sir?' she asked.


'I want to see Valerie,' the man replied.


'Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies.
Perhaps you would prefer someone else', said the madam.

'No, I must see Valerie,' he replied.

Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man she charged $5000 a
visit.


Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand dollars and gave
it to Valerie,
and they went upstairs. After an hour, the man calmly left.


The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Valerie.

Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row
as she was too expensive. But there were no discounts. The price was
still $5000..


Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie,
and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left.


The following night the man was there yet again.
Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night,
but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs..

After their session, Valerie said to the man, 'No one has ever been
with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?'

The man replied, ' Ontario .'

'Really', she said. 'I have family in Ontario .'

'I know.' the man said. 'Your sister died, and I am her attorney.
She asked me to give you your $15,000 inheritance.'


The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain.
1. Death
2. Taxes
3. Being screwed by a lawyer

Sanitary Post

A few years ago in order to earn some extra money; I took up part time as a direct sale agent but we were given title 'Product Executive'! In other word I become a salesman. This direct sale co. sell all sort of goods, everyday goods, from food stuff to health supplement to water filter to car engine oil! It is due to the wide range of goods with reasonable price that I joint in as sale agents or better know as 'Product Executive'. Due to mine hard work ( I really go around visiting household to household with samples ) I quickly rose to the rant of Manager better know as 'Product Manager' ( to me this is bullsh*it title, actually u have to work your a*ss off, some salesgirls actually sell 'themselves' to get the sale & u r still a 'SALEMAN'! ).

One of the goods that I advertise is the co's sanitary napkin!!! ( Actually I intended to take some pic & take apart the sanitary pad to show the feature. But after searching my gf room I couldn't find it. Lady where do u keep the sanitary pad? I don't ask from my gf lest that she want to know what the hell am I doing with it. Am I correct?? ) It is the only product needed by every single modern ladies. ( Some of u may say bra or panties, no true, some ladies go around without wearing bra or panties, ladies can do that, guys if u go around without wearing undies ur 'bro' will feel very weird & u will awake 'bro' at any time ).Now I am a guy selling a rather intimate ladies product, so how did I made the sale??

Knowing that it is one of the basic ladies need I quickly mention all its unique feature bla bla bla & bla. Most of the ladies I approach more or less know the feature of a sanitary napkin..... But wait, the sanitary napkin I sale is unique, it can act as 'panadol' if u have fever or headache.. U don't believed me, this is b'cos its contain a super absorbent gel which also absorb the 'heat' from your head hence your fever & headache will be gone.( actually any sanitary pad with high contain of the absorbent gel will do the job, it is not applicable to the tampex type which u poke into the 'hole' to absorber the period discharge ).

Actually this really work as while I am marketing the sanitary pad one of mine office stuff feel sick with high fever. With no panadol around, I have to apply the sanitary pad on his forehead & secure by cellophane tape. It worked! An hour later that fellow feel much better & the fever not so high. ( So do u think I get thanked for saving that fellow from high fever? No! Talk about ungrateful bugger. He scolds me & says it is extreme Bad luck!!He can forget about buying 4 D & wining any bet that he place for seven years with a sanitary pad stuck to his forehead. Such an ungrateful bugger! ) Nevertheless I sold off quite a few bags of sanitary pad that day.

Beside this u can also use the sanitary pad as emergency bandage to treat cut & wound as it is clean ( u don't apply used pad to the cut ) it & absorb blood & stop blood flow.

Being a good salesman I always do follow up with mine customer. From mine sanitary customer feedback who include girls, ladies & also aunties I find that the sanitary pad is no suitable for heavy discharge user & also it is also a bit expensive compare to those in the market. Mine advice to heavy discharge user is to change the pad more often ( more business for me ) & to save on pads use my advice which is to use folded tissue paper & apply on top of the pad hence u just discard the paper when it is 'full' ( but this method is not liked as got 'sticky' feeling )

Ladies now that u knows there are other usage beside sitting on it, u can keep a few more pieces in your handbag ( Oh come on! I know some ladies keep a few packs of condom in your handbag so why not a few packs of sanitary napkin also? ). Guys in case of emergency all u got to do is to raid the nearest handbag for sanitary pads ( u can find of sort of stuff in a ladies handbag, if u r lucky can also find condom ).

Now that is basically what I did a few years ago. But today the economy is getting from bad to worse & to save up for rainy day I think I might just have to become a sanitary pad salesman against but perhaps with other cheaper brand.

Well to all my dear readers is your life still 'comfortable'? Any effect from the bad economy ye

So Hot!

The weather nowadays so very hot! It is like real heat wave over here! So hot that I run out of blogging post. He! He! That is why no new post in here for so long. Well this is a very short post, but I do have a longer 'extended unrated' vision on this post on my other site. Do feel free to poke in & have a read.

Gift Shopping Guide

Gifts!? Wow! Now let me see.........actually what sort of gifts am I suppose to buy? How much am I suppose to spend? Now how many of my readers face this problem of gifts buying? Well to tell the truth I am facing this problem all the time whenever I have to buy gifts.

Now, no anymore when I stumble upon ShopWiki UK Gift Buying Guides. Now I know exactly what to buy & how much I have to spend. This is because inside ShopWiki UK Gift Buying Guides I can find thousands of suitable gifts.

For example if the gifts is for a lady then I will searched for gifts under gifts for women like buying a designer handbag, for men then it is under gifts for men like auto tools kits & for special occasions like anniversary then I will find my gifts under anniversary gifts or at least have some idea of what sort of gift to buy. Try it out & u will know what I meant. Gifts buying will be such an easy task.

Going To USA Eastern Sea Board

Fancy a trip to visit the major US cities of East Coast of New York , Washington and Boston either for holiday or for business? Now I am sure you will like to maximize your trip i.e. to have maximum enjoyment while spending a little as possible if you plan to go on a vacation or for business purposes. Now on any trips the main expenses will be transportation & accommodation. The transportation expenses will be more or less fixed, so to save expenses you got to choose your accommodation carefully.

Allow me to introduce you to Cheaperthanhotels which offers last minute discounts on affordable hotels as well as access to discounts ( up to 75% on normal room rates with last minute discounts within 28 days ) at some of the most expensive and exclusive hotels in the Eastern Sea Board area.

Now if you plan to visit Boston, you can check out Cheap Boston Hotels like the one show in the above picture.

Or you can check out Cheap New York Hotels like the one show in the above picture if you plant to visit New York.

Perhaps you can also check Cheap Washington DC Hotels out as shown in the picture of one of the hotel in the list.

Now the above are just some of the examples, I am sure you can find other hotel more suited to your need in Cheaperthanhotels.

Paradigm DSP 3400

Paradigm DSP 3400 is a 14” sub woofer for HT (Home Theater). Now on this entry I will blog about my HT sub woofer & how I end up with Paradigm DSP 3400. Have a look at the pic below:-

It shows three sub woofers (Yes! I got three sub woofers, more about that in the later part of the post. Me being a smart Alex! )10” Roger Sub Woofer ASB100, 12” Sherwood Newcastle SP-312W & 14” Paradigm DSP 3400. See the size get bigger & bigger! From 10” to 12” & now to 14” (which is a very odd size as in most other brand of sub woofer it is 15”). Now sub woofer is a very important component in a HT audio set up. It denote the .1 part as in 5.1 (5 speakers), 6.1 (6 speakers) & 7.1 (7 speakers) set-up. Now if u want a good bass reproduction then size is important. The bigger the better! A good sub woofer has the abilities to add breath & depth to your music & movie watching session.

Another view of the three subs. As u can see the Paradigm DSP 3400 is one very big size sub, the size of a small safe, u can even play poker on it. Space plays a very important role in sub woofer design. Space as in the size of the sub woofer & the space which the sub woofer is place in i.e. for e.g. your living room space in cubic feet. Since my living room has a space of 5,000 (20'WX20'LX12.5'H) cubic feet, I have no choice but to buy a big sub with at least size 12” X two & above. Best will be 15” but 15” sub woofer is very rare & very expansive (In most case 15” sub woofer are mostly uses in top range model. This applies to Paradigm sub woofer as well; 15” is only use in their servo & reference sub woofer.) in my small town. Now the Paradigm DSP 3400 is most suitable for mid size space to large space up to 10,000 cubic feet, thus it can give good bass pounding performance without running out of steam.

The above pics show the three subs with the grill on. As shown in the previous pic the Paradigm DSP 3400 employed the ‘ported’ system to achieved good bass with low frequency respond down to 19Hz (although I believed it can go much lower than that as there are no distortion at all when I play some blu ray with good LFE effect), hence it got two very big port in front! Because of this two very big port (big enough for me to poke in my big hand) I think I have no choice but to put on the grill as it will be very bad if some mousy decided to crawl in & build a big nest inside (He! He! Before it did that I am sure the high sound pressure will kill it!) & the very real danger of some kids poking in his hand inside & worse still leaving his toys inside (This did happen to my front speakers which is also ported!)! But it does look very nice with the grill off, especially watching the huge Paradigm DSP 3400 14” woofer in action!

This is the backside view of the three subs. All the three look similar & very simple. Both Roger ASB100 & Sherwood Newcastle SP-312W are 100W RMS using class AB amplifier, while the Paradigm DSP 3400 use a 300W RMS sustained with peak power output at 900W digital amplifier which Paradigm called ‘Digital Sound Processor’ hence DSP. Now apart from size, if u wants to have good heart pounding bass the other factor to consider is power! The more powerful the sub amp is the better will be the bass performance! Now most new top range sub woofer employed powerful digital amplifier usually 1000W & above, as digital amplifier are more efficient (almost no heat at all). This is necessary as all top range sub woofer employed the ‘sealed’ enclosure type of sub woofer. The advantage is smaller size sub woofer, an important factor as ur ‘home minister’ (wife/gf) might not like the idea of a big black box being place in the living room! Actually for me size is not a problem as I do prefer a big size sub woofer to a small one as I got to brag to all my friends that I got a big sub woofer that can kick ass, & it did kick ass!

As mention before ported sub can give good bass respond minus the huge power needed to drive the sub woofer. Now being a cheapskate why should I pay extra (cheaper electric bill) for the huge power (1000W vs 300W) when I can have a better & more economy sub woofer with similar bass pounding performance? Hence that is why I buy Paradigm DSP 3400. Ok how is the performance? I will compare it like 10” vs 12” vs 14”.

The 10” Roger ASB100 is an entry level sub woofer. Previously I am using a Pioneer HTIB (Home Theater In a Box) with a 6” sub woofer so buying a Roger 10” sub woofer is a very big ‘improvement/up-grade’ for me!

Its performance? Well let just say it is like eating a plate of chicken rice with some chicken meat! Chicken rice without chicken is just like HT without a sub woofer! The Roger 10” did do what it is supposed to do that is bass production. Now this will be OK if u has a small space but my space is big so I end up cranking the sub at full blast. This resulted in heavy distortion & Ompppprarrarar! Ompppprarara!!! Most frustrating for me! So the Roger ASB100 to me is just like a plain plate of chicken rice!

Now I went & have a audition of my friend 12” sub woofer (Velodyne CHT-12R) & wow! It is good! Just an extra 2” but it make a big different! Being a poor fellow & a ‘smart Alex’ I go looking around for a cheapo 12” & I manage to find a ‘new old stock’ Sherwood Newcastle SP-312W 12” sub woofer! Well it performance is much better than the Roger! It can produce bass much better than the 10” Roger! It is now a Boom! Boom! Now it is like having a plate of ‘special’ chicken rice! Taste much better!

Should I be happy with my HT audio now? Well by right I should if I have stay at home & do what a man should do! But noooooooooo I got to go & listen to some sub woofer in action & that is what happens to me & the result is a big black ‘safe’(Paradigm DSP 3400) hiding in the back corner of my living room! Now when I listen to a really powerful sub woofer in action I not only get to hear the BOOM, but I also get to feel the BOOM! Well after some ‘consultation’ & the parameter (5,000 cubic feet) & my sub woofer usage (99.9% movie) the recommended sub for me is at least a 15” preferably a big power sealed enclosures type like for e.g. Velodyne SPL1500R, Velodyne DD15, Paradigm Servo 15” or Paradigm Reference 15”………..Wow! All these are top range sub woofer, buying it will cost me my arms & legs plus my ‘didi’ as well! Well out of my budget! Then I get to know about the Paradigm DSP 3400 which is the top range in the DSP series, the other in the range are the DSP 3100 10” & DSP 3200 12”.

It performance is I should say excellent! Perfect for mid to large space! It is really powerful & can produce a very big bass without distortion down to below 19Hz. Now I get not only to hear BOOOOMMMM! BOOOOMMMM! But also get to feel all the BOOOOMMMM! BOOOOMMMM! It did rattle all the glass panels & even the ceiling board! Now to me the Paradigm DSP 3400 is just like having a plate of very special chicken rice with all the added spices up chicken meat plus side dishes of strew pork leg!!! The sort of chicken rice which make u feel happy & satisfied after eating & which will make u want to eat some more!

That is how good the performance of Paradigm DSP 3400! So good in fact I am now re-watching all my blu ray collection! U-571 deep charge explosion is most addictive…..so are all the LFE effect in most of movies.

So the conclusion is? Well as mention before this is a sub for medium to large space! Definitely not suitable for those living in Condominium or those with fuzzy neighbors (it has the abilities to vibrate floor & wall as well). Size! Very big & heavy (29.5kg) so ‘Home Minister’ (wife/gf) might not approve! Simple control! In fact not control at all just the normal adjustment like cross-over, gain & phase! Not even a simple power-on switch! Everything is in ‘auto’ mode. Well I don’t really mind as for me being a lazy bum I just prefer to forget about the sub presence & just sit back to enjoy & feel all the BOOOMMM!!! Now to me being simple is also a plus as fewer things to broke down. Beside I am sure it will be more reliable as it is ‘Make In Canada’! So I am happy with Paradigm DSP 3400. In fact it get ‘award’ as one of the Home Theater-2008 Products Of The Year !

Phew!!! What a long post! I do hope my dear readers’ u r not bore reading this post! Well if u r bore how about reading an ‘alternative vision’ similar but different. However this ‘alternative vision’ is ‘unrated’ (horny) & not suitable for ‘holy’ reader!

Chow for now ………..I got to watch ‘Transformer’ against at full blast!!!

Have Hope! Things Don't Turn Out It Should Be!

Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family. The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion's guest room. Instead the angels were given a small space in the cold basement. As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it.

When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied,

"Things aren't always what they seem."

The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife. After sharing what little food they had the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good night's rest. When the sun came up the next morning the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears. Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field. The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel how could you have let this happen? The first man had everything, yet you helped him, she accused. The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and you let the cow die.

"Things aren't always what they seem," the older angel replied.

"When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall.Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so he wouldn't find it."

"Then last night as we slept in the farmer’s bed, the angel of death came for his wife. I gave him the cow instead.Things aren't always what they seem."

Sometimes that is exactly what happens when things don't turn out the way they should. If you have faith, you just need to trust that every outcome is always to your advantage. You just might not know it until sometime later...

Tomorrow a mystery.

Today is a gift.

That's why it's called the present!

To all my dear readers, have faith & don't give up hope in life. I know time is tough with retrenchment everywhere. Remember it will not rain forever.