3 Jokes...............

Brenda:
 A man was sitting reading his paper when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan.
"What was that for?" the man asked. The wife replied "That was for the piece of paper with the name Brenda on it that I found in your pants pocket".
The man said "When I was at the races last week, Brenda was the name of the horse I bet on". The wife apologized and went on with the housework.
Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.
Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again. "Your horse in on the line"

Trainee:
A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee.....
On his first day, he dialled the kitchen and shouted into the phone: "Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!"
The voice from the other side responded: "You fool; you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?"
"No" replied the trainee.
"It's the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!"
The trainee shouted back: "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you IDIOT?"
"No!" replied the Managing Director angrily.
"Thank God!" replied the trainee and put down the phone.....

Don't Want To Go To School:
One early morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up.
MOM: "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school."
SON: "But why, Mama? I don't want to go to school."
MOM: "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go to school."
SON: "One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me."
MOM: "Oh! that's not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school."
SON: "Give me two good reasons why I should go to school?"
MOM: "One, you are fifty-two years old and should understand your responsibilities. Two, you are the Principal of the school."

Father Find A Good Bride!

Father: I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son: "I will choose my own bride!"
Father: "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter."
Son: "Well, in that case...ok"

Next Father approaches Bill Gates.
Father: "I have a husband for your daughter."
Bill Gates: "But my daughter is too young to marry!"
Father: "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Bill Gates: "Ah, in that case...ok"

Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Father: "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President: "But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!"
Father: "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law."
President: "Ah, in that case...ok"

This is how business is done!!
Moral: Even If you have nothing, You can get Anything. But your attitude should be positive

Asking For A Rise In Salary..........

Sometime this year I decided to sends the following letter to my boss asking for an increase in mine salary !!!

Dear Bo$$

In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t  de$perately. I think you  $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$  who have given $o much  $upport including  $weat  and $ervice to your company.

I  am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.


Your$ $incerely,


Horny Ang Moh


The next day, the I received this letter of reply:


Dear Horny,

I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must  have NOticed that our company is  NOt  doing  NOticeably well as yet  .

NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading  ecoNOmists are  NOt sure if the United States may go  into  aNOther  recession. After the  NOvember presidential elections  things may turn bad.

I  have  NOthing more to add  NOw. You  kNOw what I mean.

Yours  truly,
Manager

So how................to all my dear readers, what is your suggestion? Should I continue to work my ass off while the cunt-pany pay me peanut of a salary or should resign & look for better paying jobs?  

Lesson In Our Life..........

A meaningful article to share…:)

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, journalist at The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio

“To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.. It is the most-requested column I’ve ever written.”

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

( All comment in bracket r my own personal opinion, as apply to a very 'horny' blogger )

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good. ( Compare to someone lesser then u. )

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step. ( Just a small course of action will do, like running away. )

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. ( For me I will rather spread my time poking! )

4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch. ( So very true! Surely ur Boss will not spend his time nursing u! )

5. Pay off your credit cards every month. ( Easier to say but dam hard to practice! )

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree. ( Just let ur gf win & u r almost there! )

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone. ( Not applicable for guy! So sissy! )

8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it. ( That is why I always blame GOD! Even our gov. blamed GOD! )

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck. ( Easier to say then done. )

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile. ( No problem for me. I don't really like chocolate! )

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present. ( I do try to forget my past, like try to be more 'horny'! He! He! )

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry. ( No applicable for a daddy! U don't want ur kid to think they have a sissy dad! )

13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about. ( Without comparison how can we improve our self? )

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it. ( Ah! Forbidden fruits always taste sweeter! )

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks. ( & so I blamed GOD! )

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind. ( Yes! So true! Accept I take a deep puff! )

17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful. ( So u tell me how to get rid of MYSELF???!!! )

18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger. ( I like this best! So I suppose smoking make me stronger! He! He! )

19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.. But the second one is up to you and no one else. ( Yes! I am doing that now! My friend call me 'overgrown baby'...........)

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer. ( This is why I never say NO to Making Love!!!! )

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special. ( For a guy like me I can always NOT wear my undies! )

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow. ( Ah! Having a quicky is also enjoyable. )

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple. ( So sometime I wear pink undies. )

24. The most important sex organ is the brain. ( So tell me, without a 'didi' how do u make love? Without a poosie, how do I make love to a lady? )

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you. ( This I agree 100% )

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter?’ ( Depend.....If I cut off my 'didi' by accident, of cause if matter! )

27. Always choose life. ( Sure! )

28. Forgive everyone everything. ( I always forgive everyone & anyone as I am a forgetful fellow! )

29. What other people think of you is none of your business. ( But sometime it pay to know what other think of u. )

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time. ( Yes! Almost everything. )

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change. ( Yes! It can't be raining all the time. )

32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does. ( Yes! That is why on my other site I am a very 'Horny Ang Moh' )

33. Believe in miracles. ( So far none have happen to me yet! Like why have I not win any 4d lottery? )

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do. ( Yes! I believed he did love me, otherwise why did he create such a 'horny' fellow like me? )

35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now. ( Not much of my life to audit anyway, apart for me having to successfully make love to gf everyday. )

36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young. ( So very true. )

37. Your children get only one childhood. ( This is why I try to love children. )

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved. ( Yes! I believed my gf love me! Oh yes! My readers too love me otherwise why r they still reading all this crap! Ha! Ha! )

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere. ( Rubbish! Where got miracles! I can see my Boss whenever I look out of my office cubic! )

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back. ( Problem is nobody will tell nobody their problem. So my problem will always be the biggest pile out there. )

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need. ( Rubbish! Money no enough! )

42. The best is yet to come. ( Problem is I have being waiting for so long until now, my cow still haven't cum home! )

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up. ( Yes! Mine is always up watching gf get dress or undress. )

44. Yield. ( Yes! Yield to all gf nagging & u will do just fine in life. )

45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift. ( That is why I try to live my life to the fullest. )

So to all my dear readers, r u happy with ur life now?

Bad Conductor!

THE BUS CONDUCTOR.

Nice puzzle - try to crack it ...

Once there was a bus conductor, who was very rude to his passengers.

One day a beautiful young girl, of around 18 years,tried to board the bus,but he didn't stop the bus.

Unfortunately the beautiful young girl came under the bus and died on the spot. Angry passengers took the conductor to the police station, who in turn took him to the court.

The judge was not at all impressed with him and gave him capital punishment.

He was taken to the electrocution chamber. There was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room. The conductor was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him. But to everyone's amazement, he survived. The judge decided to set him free, and he returned to his profession.

After a few months, this time, a good looking middle aged woman tried to board the bus but the conductor didn't stop the bus. Unfortunately, this time also, the good looking middle aged woman came under the bus and died on the spot.

Again angry passengers took him to the police station, who in turn took him to the court. The judge took one look at the conductor and gave him capital punishment. The Bus conductor was taken to the same electrocution chamber where there was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room. He was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him. This time also to everyone's amazement, he survived. The judge decided to set him free, and he returned to his profession.

A couple of months later, an elderly gentleman tried to board the bus.This time the Bus conductor, remembering his earlier experiences, stopped the bus. Unfortunately the elderly gentleman slipped and died due to his injuries. The conductor was taken to the police station and then to the court, to the same judge. Though he hadn't done anything wrong, but considering his past record the judge decided to set an example and gave him capital punishment. The Bus conductor was again taken to the same electrocution chamber where there was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room. He was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him. This time he died instantly !!!!!!!!!!!

The question is why didn't he die on the first two occasions, but died instantly the third time??

Try to solve it yourselves. This is rather interesting and answer is perfectly logical. If necessary read the puzzle once again.

! Still you couldn't, Then look below....... ..

think hard………

common sense............ .

tired.... ?

wanna know the answer????

Ok........ there is the Answer...... ......

During the first two times, the conductor was a Bad Conductor, therefore electricity didn't pass through him. But during the third time, he was a good conductor, so electricity passed through him freely and he died !!!!!!!!

Ha ha ha ha !!!!!!!! Obviously you’ve gotta revise your science chapter on Electricity ???

Pineapple.........

Fresh Pineapple Has Many Benefits....

The pineapple is a member of the bromeliad family. It is extremely rare that bromeliads produce edible fruit. The pineapple is the only available edible bromeliad today. It is a multiple fruit.One pineapple is actually made up of dozens of individual flowerettes that grow together to form the entire fruit.

Each scale on a pineapple is evidence of a separate flower.Pineapples stop ripening the minute they are picked. No special way of storing them will help ripen them further. Color is relatively unimportant in determining ripeness.

Choose your pineapple by smell. If it smells fresh, tropical and sweet, it will be a good fruit. The more scales on the pineapple, the sweeter and juicier the taste.

After you cut off the top, you can plant it. It should grow much like a sweet potato will. This delicious fruit is not only sweet and tropical, it also offers many benefits to our health.

Pineapple is a remarkable fruit. We find it enjoyable because of its lush, sweet and exotic flavor, but it may also be one of the most healthful foods available today. If we take a more detailed look at it, we will find that pineapple is valuable for easing indigestion, arthritis or sinusitis. The juice has an anthelmintic effect; it helps get rid of intestinal worms.

Let's look at how pineapple affects other conditions.Pineapple is high in manganese, a mineral that is critical to development of strong bones and connective tissue. A cup of fresh pineapple will give you nearly 75% of the recommended daily amount. It is particularly helpful to older adults, whose bones tend to become brittle with age.

Bromelain, a proteolytic enzyme, is the key to pineapple's value.

Proteolytic means "breaks down protein", which is why pineapple is known tobe a digestive aid. It helps the body digest proteins more efficiently.

Bromelain is also considered an effective anti-inflammatory. Regular ingestion of at least one half cup of fresh pineapple daily is purported to relieve painful joints common to osteoarthritis. It produces mild pain relief. In Germany, bromelain is approved as a post-injury medication because it is thought to reduce inflammation and swelling.

Orange juice is a popular liquid for those suffering from a cold because it is high in Vitamin C. Fresh pineapple is not only high in this vitamin, but because of the bromelain, it has the ability to reduce mucous in the throat.

If you have a cold with a productive cough, add pineapple to your diet. It is commonly used in Europe as a post-operative measure to cut mucous after certain sinus and throat operations. Those individuals who eat fresh pineapple daily report fewer sinus problems related to allergies. In and of itself, pineapple has a very low risk for allergies.

Pineapple is also known to discourage blood clot development.This makes it a valuable dietary addition for frequent fliers and others who may be at risk for blood clots.

An old folk remedy for morning sickness is fresh pineapple juice. It really works! Fresh juice and some nuts first thing in the morning often makes a difference. It's also good for a healthier mouth. The fresh juice discourages plaque growth.

Wow! Now that is lot of benefit! Well the only 'benefit' I use to know is it taste nice & for heaven sake eat lotsa of pineapple if ur gf miss her period! According to old wife tale eating lotsa of pineapple is suppose to have 'abortive' nature..........Don't know true or not.......

SVS PC-12NSD Vs Paradigm DSP 3400

Or shall I say cylinder sub woofer vs boxed sub woofer? The SVS PC-12NSD is a powered cylinder sub woofer while the Paradigm is a more traditional boxed typed. Both sub woofers make use of the ported system. Ported sub has the advantage of being able to go low & loud while saving to power usage. The disadvantage is it size which is much bigger if compared to sealed sub woofer.

From the pic it look as if the SVS PC-12NSD is big towering over the Paradigm DSP 3400, but in actual fact it got a small foot print of just 17” in diameter. Thus this make placement of SVS PC-12NSD a easy task……..well u can place it almost anyway so long as it tall shape don’t block ur TV view.

So how is the performance of SVS PC-12NSD vs Paradigm DSP 3400? Well both sub woofer use ported enclosure system, while the SVS PC-12NSD use cylinder, the Paradigm DSP 3400 use the more traditional boxed design. In term of power the SVS PC-12NSD is more powerful at 325w using BASH plate amp where as the Paradigm DSP 3400 produce 300w using a ‘digital amp’. The SVS PC-12NSD use a 12” sub woofer while the Paradigm DSP 3400 use a 14” sub woofer.

Test tracks used to test the sub woofer performance are U571, Transformer, Ironman & some song, all in Dolby Digital 5.1 & DTS 5.1. And the finding is Paradigm DSP 3400 is a better sub when compare to the SVS PC-12NSD. The SVS PC-12NSD just can’t go as low as the Paradigm DSP 3400 & also it power output is not as powerful or as loud as the Paradigm DSP 3400 even though the SVS has a more powerful amp. Measured by SPL meter, to output the same level, the SVS gain level has to be set higher by about 10%.

Well I am actually not very surprise as this is a very unfair comparison as SVS PC-12NSD is the entry level subs where as the Paradigm DSP-3400 is the top range of the ported Paradigm sub woofer. Now if only I can get my hand on a SVS PC-13Ultra that will be a more suitable candidate.

As mention due to the small foot print of the SVS PC-12NSD, I placed the SVS PC-12NSD on the front left speaker of my system, while the Paradigm DSP 3400 is located on the rear right speaker. I like to place the SVS PC-12NSD in front as I want to show off the unique shape of the SVS power cylinder! And boy it did look good & very unique.

And due to its unique shape I do get some unique comment from my visitors………….like ‘What the fark is that thing!’, ‘U meant this big black bin is a sub?!!!’ and finally ‘What u r doing having a big DRUM in ur living room!’. And this remark come from my friend who is into car ice ( in car entertainment ). Apparently a car power sub cylinder is referring to as ‘drum’! And finally do I get objection from gf placing a big black ‘rubbish bin’ (which is her reference) in the living room? Yes! She did object and so I have no choice by try my best to ‘decorate’ it.

So to all my dear readers……………what do u thinks of my ‘decorating’ idea? Well if u do find this post a bit boring & not much of an information, u r most wellcum to poke into my other vision here (unrated & hornynize) & my previous ‘review’ on Paradigm DSP 3400 here ( unrated & hornynize ) & here.